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When All You Want to Do Is Eat Cake…Surrender

April 3rd, 2019 | no comments



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Sounds like I’m giving you permission to throw in the towel and eat cake, doesn’t it?

Surrendering to food does not mean what you think. It doesn’t mean to give in; to fill your grocery cart with potato chips, ice cream, cupcakes and candy bars. Nor does it mean to give up on your health goals.

In his book The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle has this to say about the meaning of surrender:

Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life. The only place where you can experience the flow of life is the Now, so to surrender is to accept the present moment unconditionally and without reservation. It is to relinquish inner resistance to what is. Inner resistance is to say “no” to what is, through mental judgment and emotional negativity.


Activate your power of nonresistant choice

When faced with a menu of options, rather than fight and say “no” to those foods you believe are “bad” (which will only give them more power over your mind), invite them in as part of the present moment and allow them to be in the running.

This simple act is enough to end your inner battle with food.  Now the power of what I call nonresistant choice can flow to you, and with that, the freedom to eat the foods that will serve your highest good.

This is exactly what I do on my weekly grocery trip.

Strolling up and down the aisles housing my previously forbidden “kryptonite” foods (i.e. cookies, donuts, cake, etc.), I lovingly invite all of them to be in the running for what goes into my cart. Sometimes one of them actually makes it to the conveyor belt, but it’s not very often. And it’s all because I am allowed to have it.

This mental clearing opens up my power of nonresistant choice, and I am free to choose what my body really wants.

Giving yourself permission is one of the most freeing things you can do.


Restrictions: the killer of nonresistant choice

When you are locked in food prison, with a host of food rules, lists of dos and don’ts, and restrictive calorie limits, you are living in a highly resistant state and the power of nonresistant choice is cut off.

Sure you are making choices, but with much inner-conflict. You don’t realize it, but you are actually in a fog, under the spell of the forbidden food or calorie-limit, which is quietly lurking in the background of your mind, whispering “no”.

Under these conditions, I guarantee you will end up eating the forbidden food and breaking the calorie-limit.

You’ve been there before, haven’t you? Well, now that you know this…why the hell would you choose to go back there?

Surrender my friend. Activate your power of nonresistant choice. 


When is it really ok to eat cake?

But wait Mel! How do I know when eating a piece of chocolate cake is really the right choice? My fear is, with this newfound freedom of surrendering, I will easily convince myself that it’s OK to eat the cake…even when it’s not.


First, yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life means, it’s always OK to eat cake (and pizza, ice cream, kale, and sweet potatoes). You have unbounded freedom to eat it. The question becomes, how do you feel about eating the cake at this moment?

Do you feel free, light, untethered? Which are all feelings you experience when you are Home and connected to who you really are. READ THIS POST TO LEARN MORE ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HOME.

Or do you feel bound in chains, riddled with guilt, and stuck in a pool of resistance as thick as mud?

How do you know it’s the right choice? You will feel it. And your feelings never lie.


Second, you will never be able to escape the smell of airport Cinnabons. Cupcakes, donuts, pizza, potato chips, and apple pie will always be there. So your only hope for a way out of the madness you’ve created around food, is to commit to ending the war with it, once and for all.

Surrender my friend!


“But Mel, what if I CRAVE chocolate cake?”

Let me tell you something. I know it may not always feel like it, but your body really does know exactly what to do to take care of itself. It’s in direct partnership with the real you, and when you get still and listen, it will guide you to what it really needs to be in harmony (and on occasion, that may mean a small piece of chocolate cake is in order). 

In other words: the being part of you, housed in your human suit, will not call out for chocolate cake every night at 9:30. That’s your body talking. Nonetheless, it can be quite a convincing call can’t it? The feeling is super intense and you may even start salivating at the mere thought of chocolate cake.

So how do you even begin to rationalize with that human side?

Remember my famous words of wisdom: what you feed your body most, it will crave.

If you crave cake and other forms of sugar all day every day, that means you’ve trained your body to crave it. Same goes for roasted Brussels sprouts, kale smoothies, and water.

To learn how to transform those cravings into foods you actually want to crave, check out this post


Let me leave you with this…

You DO have control, so step out of the fog you’ve been living in! Take a long, slow, deep breath. Get intensely present, surrender to the moment, and tap into your power of untethered, nonresistant choice.

You can have whatever you want.

Now that you are truly free, what will you choose?  


PS: Yes, I really did eat that slice of chocolate cake last week (I begrudgingly shared it with Wayne and secretly wanted to stab his hand with my fork ?). It was an untethered, nonresistant choice. I felt completely free with no guilt and ZERO regret.

Now that’s how you eat chocolate cake my friend. xo


Mel’s weekly food pick: 

Photo by Tomasz Olszewski on Unsplash

I was never a fan of parsley growing up. I think it was that one isolated incident at Mr. Steak, when I curiously nibbled on the wilted sprig of pitiful parsley carelessly thrown on top of my kiddie-size steak. It was supposed to be a garnish, but I tell you…it tasted like garbage!

Turns out parsley is oh so much more than a measly decoration. Yes, it doubles as a breath freshener and palate cleanser, but seriously…that’s small potatoes compared to its effects on a more cellular level.

Rich in plant compounds called flavonoids, parsley can potentially offer protection against diabetes and skin and breast cancer. Because it’s a phenomenal source of vitamin K, an important micronutrient for calcium absorption, parsley can support optimal bone health too.

Note: If you take a blood thinner such as warfarin (Coumadin and Jantoven), you have to be careful not to drastically alter the amount of vitamin K in your diet. One of its main roles is blood clotting, and parsley contains over 500% of the Daily Value for vitamin K in just one half-cup.

It’s super easy to incorporate parsley into your favorite recipes:

  • Add it to soups and tomato sauces.
  • Chop into salads.
  • Make your own tabouli by mixing chopped parsley with olive oil, mint, quinoa and lemon. Here’s a gluten-free tabouli recipe you’ll really like!
  • Sprinkle on top of cooked vegetables and fish.
  • Blend into pesto sauce and toss with mung bean pasta. Check out this week’s recipe pick for Perfect Parsley Pesto (it’s gluten and dairy-free!).
Mel’s weekly recipe pick: 
Perfect Parsley Pesto











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