Photo by Deleece Cook on Unsplash
I took a break from my weekly Food for Thought for the first time in two years. You see, lately I’ve been experiencing a low-grade numbness. I found myself merely “going through the motions” in an attempt to create interesting, juicy, eye-catching content to share with you, and if I’m being honest, this weekly anticlimactic ritual became somewhat of a chore. I felt, uninspired.
Consider the meaning of the word inspire:
v: to inflame or to blow in to
When you are feeling inspired by something or someone, it is as if an internal, low flame inside of you is being infused with air to make it grow.
And if I’m lacking this infusion, how in the world can I be the catalyst to evoke it for you? One thing I know for sure is, you are worth more than this uninspired “shell of a Mel” I was offering.
This break all came in good timing, as late August always seems to summon the deepest part of me– when my inspiration reignites and I feel a seamless connection to who I really am and the purpose behind my incarnation on this amazing earth plane. Why late August? Because the 30th (TODAY!) happens to be my birthday!
On my birthday, I feel it necessary to apologize to you (but not really)
I know sometimes I can come across a bit overzealous, eager, and annoyingly passionate; I’m sorry about that (not really), it’s just that I really, really care about you. If you could just step into my world and come along on this journey with me for the next few minutes, I think it will make perfect sense.
I see you
No, I mean, I really see you.
Maybe you were in the audience and heard one of my presentations, or perhaps you read my weekly Food for Thought post. We may have met, or maybe not. It could be we’ve simply exchanged glances or smiles for a split second. Or maybe you did me the honor of trusting me as your coach. Whatever our connection, I want you to know that I see you.
What exactly do I see?
I sense, at a very deep level, the potential in you for well-being. This seed is something that most don’t see in themselves, as they are too busy rehashing the mental list of aches, pains, and extra pounds they wish would disappear.
This potential is like a bubbling energy, just waiting to be expressed; a caged bird, if you will, yearning to spread its wings so that it can live life to the fullest and sing the song it was born to sing. The truth is, when you are unwell, your wingspan is stunted and you aren’t able to fully share your gifts with the world.
A passion-driven restlessness
Most days I literally cannot rest.
My passion for your bubbling, yet imprisoned well-being is itself, creating tsunami-like waves in my mind. I am simply dying to reach my little hand over and unlock your cage door; to introduce you to the reflection in my mirror, rather than the foggy fun house mirror you’ve been consulting with all these years.
My friend, I need you to understand that well-being awaits you. Yes, it’s there, ready for activation. I can see it.
If your current outward reality doesn’t match this true inner reality, you simply aren’t allowing it. Maybe you don’t know how.
But I do, and this is why I am so damn restless, like a third-grader sitting in class next to poor, pig-tailed Sally Jones. There she sits, feeling hopelessly embarrassed, as Miss Crabtree awaits her reply to a question she’s clearly not able to answer. You watch her squirm in her seat and turn all shades of red, and are just dying to give her the answer to put an end to her misery, only Miss Crabtree forbids it… Sally must figure this one out on her own.
Do you feel like Sally?
Guess what? There is no Miss Crabtree…you don’t have to figure this out on your own! I know, it’s your life and your choices are totally up to you, but sometimes you need someone to point out what you cannot see, after all, funhouse mirrors can be quite deceiving, even believable…can’t they?
Are you trapped, frustrated and confused?
I know you want so badly to be well, and free…but the “how” can be confusing, can’t it?
- What should you eat?
- Are there any foods you should avoid?
- Eggs: are they good or bad this month?
- How about meat: yes or no?
- Can I ever go out for ice cream again, if so should I just stick with frozen yogurt instead? (PS: the answer is yes to the ice cream and a big fat HELL NO to the frozen yogurt…unless you actually prefer the taste or are lactose intolerant of course 🙂 ).
It can be frustrating too!
- Counting points
- Eating less while exercising more
- Feeling deprived and thinking about Doritos day and night
- Gnawing, low-grade hunger with a 24-7 urge to stuff your face
All of this for what? To lose ten pounds this week only to regain it (plus five more) in a month? I’m sorry/not sorry, but this is bullshit (it’s my birthday, so I get a potty mouth pass 🙂 ).
All of the conflicting information out there sadly creates what’s known as learned helplessness. Learned helplessness occurs when we give up in the face of adversity because we don’t believe that our efforts make a difference when, in fact, they still can.
The only problem is, we are expending precious energy wasting our efforts on “solutions” that are downright incompatible with our biology and human nature. For example, some foods that nutritionists say are good for us (i.e. whole wheat) can cause a rush in blood sugar and actually promote fat storage and hunger, while those they tell us to limit or avoid all together (i.e. eggs, coconut oil, beef, etc.), actually calm blood sugar and satisfy hunger. It’s no wonder you are trapped, frustrated, and confused!
First, the (threefold) problem
The problem isn’t a lack of desire for well-being. I don’t believe for one hot minute that a single person out there wants to be overweight, drained of energy, achy, or diseased.
The problem, as I see it, is threefold:
- You are confused and don’t know how or where to start.
- You finally make the decision to start and even have a map (called Weight Watchers, keto, paleo, etc.), only you lose momentum and slide back into old, comfortable habits.
- Your map was incomplete, lacking a fundamental set of instructions: how to unlock your cage so that you can actually spread your wings and fly. This problem goes unrecognized however, and instead you blame yourself for sucking big time and lacking willpower.
Don’t you see? That “golden” map landed you right in the middle of your very own cage, only now you’re swimming in a pool of food obsession, constant hunger, and weight gain.
Look, you can have the most highly-acclaimed, expensive, individualized program in the world at your disposal and ready to activate, but when you are locked in a cage staring at a funhouse mirror, unable to see the light that I see, that map is absolutely useless. In fact, you may as well use it to line the bottom of your cage!
My threefold inspired purpose (and gift to you)
I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt, that on the 30th day of August in 1975, I was brought into this world with a threefold purpose, and that is to:
- Help you get started on the road to well-being.
- Hand you the complete map, along with gentle, loving guidance.
- Inspire the shit out of you (potty mouth birthday pass #2 🙂 ) so that you may challenge that funhouse mirror and find a way to unlock your cage. Then spread your wings, fly to my mirror and… see what I see.
How can I be so sure of my purpose? Because whenever I am fully engaged in any one of these three behaviors, I become positively high and must take inspired action.
I know what it’s like to be at war with food
I refuse to believe that my three-year journey with binge eating disorder was travelled in vain- it was confirmation of the work that I was put here to do. My pain must have served a purpose.
To not be able to trust myself alone with a plate of cookies; suffering from perpetual food preoccupation (I’m talking day, night, and in my dreams); waking up terrified, not knowing how far I will take my secret binge in the late evening hours: will I eat the entire cake this time, or just skim the frosting in my usual fashion so that no one discovers what I’m really up to– this was my reality.
To read more about my journey, click HERE or check out my latest book Missing Peace: Eleven Secrets to Restore Inner Harmony with Your Food, Body, and Health.
I know what it’s like to feel as free as a blue bird too!
To walk past a case of donuts, take a whiff, salivate, and…walk away without a trace of unfulfilled desire– that’s what it means to be truly free from the bonds of food. This is the reality I enjoy these days, but only because I went through that hellish three-year food battle, pulled myself out, and learned what not to do. Had I not gone through it, who knows what sort of message I would be spreading out there (probably to avoid beef, eggs, and coconut oil, while eating all the “healthy” whole wheat you desire! 🙂 ).
Don’t get me wrong, I still eat donuts (and ice cream and cake), but it’s a planned indulgence– a far cry from the recklessly impulsive guilt-ridden binges of yesteryear. There’s a difference: I am living from and honoring my light, the same light that is in you.
The willpower excuse
Think this reality is only reserved for the strong-willed? You are dead wrong.
Nothing frosts my cookies more than when a well-meaning person comes at me with comments like:
You have incredible willpower girl!
You must be genetically blessed.
Sure, YOU can do this, but I certainly can’t.
Are you flippin’ kidding me? We are all made up of the same “stuff”, the only difference is, today, I live as if I’m already healthy and well. I don’t chase after it like I used to (and like most people do).
The truth is, these well-meaning folks are already well, but have convinced themselves they need fixing and are thus making choices from a state of lack and dis-ease. This is what keeps them stuck in the body they so desperately want to change.
Stop with the lack-of-willpower excuse already. If I can break free from a three-year food addiction and come out healthier at age 44 than I was at 24, you my love, can too! It has nothing to do with willpower and everything to do with shifting your perception.
You must be what you can be
If you are still reading this post, I’m pretty sure you’re sensing a deep-rooted desire (even if just a flicker) to treat your body better. Yes? Well I am going to be bold here, so brace yourself: that desire is a whisper from your higher self, just begging to be released. It is your duty to answer it…before the whisper turns into a scream. In other words:
You must be what you can be.
Indeed, it is your personal responsibility to carve out the masterpiece hidden inside. As Michelangelo, the famous Italian sculptor and painter of the High Renaissance said:
“Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it. I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”
I can promise you one thing: if you fail to unleash this yearning potential well-being inside of you, the desire won’t go away. In fact, it may very well present itself as a nagging dissatisfaction with life, because secretly you know you deserve better.
No one can answer the whisper but you.
Start somewhere, anywhere…just start damn it!
And don’t quit because you aren’t doing it perfectly or 100%! One thing I know for sure is that when repeated daily, one small healthy habit has the power to go viral. You’ll find that you naturally add more of them because you feel so good. When you feel good, you simply don’t want it to end!
Some examples of small habits include:
- Back off of the artificially sweetened beverages and drink lemon water instead, or
- Eat carrots dipped in hummus with lunch instead of chips, or
- Make dinner your final eating occasion of the day and allow your body to fast for twelve hours (it’s really not hard and can help manage rising blood sugar levels), or
- Take five minutes each morning to sit quietly, breathe, and go within.
My sweet friend, I really do love and care about you (more than you will ever fully realize), so please don’t wait for that whisper/gentle nudge of your higher self to turn into a baseball bat upside the head (in the form of a heart attack, stroke, diabetes, foot amputation, etc.). Start somewhere, anywhere!
I’m not sorry that I am so flippin’ passionate about YOU
Can you now understand the reason for my passion? I see that bubbling energy in you; the seed waiting to sprout. I see the light in you.
Take that first step, get to work on building just one teeny weeny healthy habit today…not tomorrow, TODAY!
Well-being awaits you my friend, so…shit, or get off the pot (potty mouth birthday pass #3 🙂 ). xoxo
Looking for a map? I may have one for you
I’m constantly being asked to: “tell me what you do and I’ll do it!” or “write down what you eat in a day and I’ll follow it!”
Although it’s taken me nearly 19 years of trial and error, I finally mapped out a route to unleash the well-being inside of ME and now I want to share it with you. And because we both come from the same stuff and share the same light, this map will enable you to unlock your cage and fly free, to enjoy good health and feel fantastic for years to come.
I’m asking you to trust me here. Trust me when I say you absolutely can get to a place in your life where the call of donuts, Doritos, and ice cream is silenced and your:
- Body craves wholesome foods like greens, Brussels sprouts, and avocados (really!).
- Blood sugar is managed through the foods you eat.
- Cholesterol moves to a desirable range.
- Appetite is calm and you aren’t preoccupied with food.
- Body begins to mirror that which you hold in your mind’s eye.
- Energy is lifted and your mind, more clear.
The map I am offering here is not some one-size-fits-all program in a box, but rather a life plan– one that will change with you, as you grow and change. It’s not for those looking for a quick fix either. If all you want is a meal plan with calories meticulously displayed, this isn’t for you.
With this map, comes a small group of like-minded individuals with similar goals, and my gentle guidance over a 30-day period.
Does this sound interesting to you?
Well then keep your eyes peeled because I will be announcing this brand new program (along with oodles of details on what’s involved) on Tuesday, September 3rd at 5:00 am EST.
I am limiting enrollment to a small group of individuals, so you will definitely want to be on alert for Tuesday’s email. Also, to be sure this is a good fit for you, you will be asked to complete a program application. The last thing I want you to do is invest your hard-earned money into something that’s not right for you.
I am beyond excited to share this with you my friend…stay tuned!
On my 44th birthday, thank you for allowing me to be so damn passionate about YOU!
I love you my friend,
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